Behavior Befitting the Gospel: Mentored by the Mature – Titus 2:4–8

PRAY & INTRO: What does the church need to do to prevent households (and individuals) from being undermined by the worldly culture around us and by false teachers that are offering the wrong remedy? (the wrong remedy of observing external religious rituals without an emphasis on the change of life a restored relationship with God necessarily brings, from the inside out)

What we are seeing from Paul’s letter to Titus is that first…

1. The church must have mutually accountable elders who live the gospel, who teach the whole counsel of God (the trustworthy word as taught by Jesus and the Apostles), and who therefore lovingly and actively rebuke the falsehood we are being told or that is already bound up in our hearts.
2. AND (One particularly unique and emphatic contribution of Titus in our Bible is this…) More mature Christians should participate in the modeling, teaching, correcting, and training that leads to practical application and accountability for what it looks like to be a follower of Jesus with our whole lives.

Last week, we let verse one (“teach what accords with sound doctrine”) set up an underlying premise for the whole of Titus chapter 2 and beyond.

All Christians are to lead lives befitting the gospel, for the health of our homes and churches and for projecting the life-changing truth of God’s grace to the world.

From that point we understand the flow of the chapter:

- The instructions for different groups (by age, gender, and station in life) offers wisdom for gospel living based on our own God-given situations.

All of which is grounded in the grace of God in the gospel (vv. 11-14).

So last time we also emphasized from vv. 2-3 that…

Senior saints are to set the tone. (vv. 2-3)

Truthfully that sounds much more tame than the loving urgency we employed last week to light a renewed fire under our own senior saints to set an example and teach us what it means to live the gospel in our daily lives.

This week, the text transitions in vv. 3-4 to instruction for younger women via the older women, and that also sets up a parallel in vv. 6-8 concerning younger men, for whom Titus is to set an example.

Here’s what the section should emphasize for us:

The more mature (in faith & life experience) are to mentor younger saints to lead lives befitting the gospel, so that God’s word & Christ’s church may not be slandered because of our unbecoming conduct. (vv. 4-8)

“The culture idolizes the young, but the Bible reveres the aged.” - Austin Duncan in an interview with Pastors John MacArthur and John Piper

Paul goes about this teaching and mentoring emphasis in two unique but parallel ways in this section. First the instruction for older women flows directly into them modeling and teaching right behavior for younger women. Then with reference to younger men, Paul will tell Titus to show himself as a model of good works and take particular care in his teaching.

Now again, this mentoring emphasis begins from the instruction for older women to teach and train the younger what is good.

Older women are to teach younger women what is good. (vv. 4-5)

We ended last time on the note of older women proactively teaching what is good, with a specific goal of passing on to younger women the Christian priorities and character applicable to their gender and season of life. - Already before we go further, here’s an important implication for application: Teaching suggests intentionality. Whether formal or informal, teaching undoubtedly suggests intentionality. Modeling (setting an example) in proximity to others can and does sometimes have a positive impact even unintentionally. But teaching is necessarily intentional, which means this kind of teaching is also directed at the needs of the individual (or small group of individuals).

Now in the context that follows, what in particular is good for many younger women to learn, what is a key sphere to prioritize in their Christian practice?

- Godliness and attentiveness in the home sphere is of utmost priority for the young married woman.

Unsurprisingly in Titus, with the danger of false teachers upsetting households, the strength of households and the domestic sphere is at the forefront of Paul’s instruction.

Add to this also that in the time period, history notes that there was a movement in Roman society of women seeking greater freedom for themselves (mostly upper, well-to-do women in society), such that the movement could be coined “the new woman” emerging in Roman culture. Philip Towner explains, “[…] One consequence of the movement was a diminished interest in household management (which task normally fell to the woman/wife), for the emancipated woman had other things on her mind, and higher priorities to attend to.” -Philip H. Towner, The Letters to Timothy and Titus, The New International Commentary on the New Testament (Grand Rapids, MI: Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Co., 2006), 713.

Evidently their society dealt with women wanting greater freedom from certain responsibilities and even from marital faithfulness (which to them was feeling too “restrictive”).

This of course has implications for the instruction Paul finds necessary about roles and relationships in households: for loving their husbands and children well, for self-control and purity, for homemaking, and submission. How much further has our society taken what begins as a right desire for equality in a sense of value and status and being heard (which Paul himself supports—Gal 3:28—and clearly Genesis 1 supports, “So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.” (Gen 1:27, cf. Gen 5:2) Being equally created in God’s image and equally spiritually remade in Christ Jesus does not undo the wonderful design and tapestry of genders and ethnicities, nor even of roles designed to provide us with good order.

How much further has our society taken a desire for “freedom”—unrestrained personal autonomy—and elevated it into the supreme value and virtue? From this falsehood comes “my body, my choice,” a selfish freedom that does not account for another (in this case an unborn child… what about that person’s developing body and not giving them a choice to remain living)? You see the problem with equating freedom with unrestrained individual autonomy.

And this is not to belittle that there are evil circumstances that can lead to pregnancy, to the conception of another human, and that there can be truly great risks involving the lives of both mother and child. But these realities do not negate the sinfulness of autonomy at the expense of another. Furthermore we must not ignore the reality that men can, and some do, dominate and abuse their physical strength and their role in marriage.

And yet: Since when does the potential for a right thing to be used wrongly make the right thing itself wrong?

I know that’s a long introduction to this section on faithfulness for women in home life, but it’s necessary because we have the same pull in our society and from our sinful nature to shrink back from accepting God’s clear design, and the evident value he places on us fulfilling our roles in service to him.

It also explains the meaning of this first phrase and “so train young women,” where training is not the usual word translated as such. It is a call from older women to younger women to “wise up,” to think and live wisely in self-control over their passions and desires.

Before we move forward… Am I being clear, and am I being helpful? I just want to make sure you don’t think this is some old-fashioned, outdated interpretation of Scripture from a patriarchal society seeking to oppress you. It really isn’t that at all. This is God’s own word, and the only reasonable interpretation of what this text and other similar texts mean. God is saying his design is for our good, and even by our own experience as Christians who submit to God’s authority will tell you, it truly leads to what is best and to our own greatest joy.

Even so, what a wise thing God has done to instruct older women most of all to help younger women embrace and live according to this vision for their lives. I’m responsible to stand before you and declare what the text proclaims and why it matters, but then I can’t possibly bring it home to you in your heart and life the way a fellow woman can do, who truly understands and who has walked the path, in both triumphs and defeats of being faithful to this calling.

Now finally, we come to more of the detail in vv. 4-5.

- What are some key character qualities and activities for faithful ministry in the family sphere?

(in which older women should mentor younger women)

You might immediately ask yourself, about the first thing in this list, why does anyone need instruction on loving her husband and children well? But there are at least two reasons: 1. Because of sinful inclinations that arise from within us, we are all learning to love as Jesus has instructed. 2. It is not immediately obvious in any culture what love actually is and what it should look like (except for maybe truly healthy Christian circles). The kind of sacrificial love Jesus modeled for us takes great effort in submitting to the Spirit, and the practical out-workings of it are certainly many.

Based on the context we’ve described in Roman culture (plus the known promiscuity in Crete), a love for her husband will mean a love that fiercely guards marital faithfulness. A wise older woman can give input for healthy safeguards, as well as both general and specific suggestions for nurturing healthy growth in intimacy. She can answer questions and give feedback to the specific situations that a younger woman is dealing with in her marriage.

Secondly, a young mother’s task of sacrificially loving on children, especially young children, is quite possibly the most draining endeavor in all the world. Men, if you are even just sensitive enough to be less than a rhinoceros, you should begin to learn that your wife’s service of nurturing and making a home for the children (and for you) is truly one of the most practical examples of the patient and persevering love of God (provided she does it because of God’s grace to her in Christ). Sometimes the endurance and monotony of it can be discouraging, so care for and thank and help your wives.

Just so then, older women who have walked that path (and survived it!) can be a refreshing spring of both wisdom and encouragement: Be encouraged; if you remain faithful, that child will eventually learn. Be encouraged; this phase doesn’t last forever. Be encouraged; we see progress in your children. Be encouraged; we see progress in your husband. :-)

Along with this emphasis on love, the older can help the younger to wise up in self-control and purity. Again, as we’ve noted before, this self-control is the presence of mind, the prudence, to keep our emotions and desires in check. Being pure certainly applies to the area of sexuality, and is a part of the backdrop of this urgent need. But purity is first of all of the mind, and older women can therefore help younger women take steps to protect themselves from false ideas and fantasies in movies, books, and on the internet. To the readers and listeners of the time, these virtues would imply chastity (as we said) and also modesty. Their culture, like ours, might not promote modesty at all, so older women can be of practical help to younger women about the value and practice of modesty.

What comes next, translated here as “working at home” is not as controversial, even for Christian circles, as it might appear at first. It means being a homemaker. Whether or not you and your husband have agreed for you to also help with income for the family from “outside work” of another kind isn’t really a problem. The idealized woman of Proverbs 31 is certainly industrious and seems to be bringing in some income. At the very least, that should prevent us from slamming the door on married women with children holding other jobs. But the point is still the point… be busy with homemaking.

Why be busy with homemaking? Well, the implications are probably two-fold: The health of your home depends on it, and it keeps you out of trouble. Being busy with a better endeavor is always a remedy for getting involved in things we ought not to. And if I can be permitted to say it this way, a home doesn’t do well without a godliness of feminine quality, without this one who nurtures the safe zone for growth and intimacy and flourishing of the family.

Be kind. Why tell them to be kind (literally “good”)? Hey, anybody who makes a decision to be married, to live with a man day after day, needs to be reminded to be kind. Sometimes that guy just makes you want to punch him. And ladies, you tell me, when your kids have exhausted you to the last drop, do you need to be reminded to be kind? Ladies who love you with more experience can suggest how to be kind when you’re at your limit. And this kindness undoubtedly extends to people outside your home, to friends and neighbors and even strangers.

Finally, older ladies should remind the younger married women to be submissive to their own men (husbands). Submission in these marriage contexts means an attitude and behavior that willingly lets and encourages your husband to lead. Christ willingly submitted himself to the Father’s leadership plan. So in the context of a marriage where you have to guard against sin on the part of both parties, submitting to your husband means an attitude and behavior that willingly allows and encourages your husband to lead.

In any conversation about this topic of submission within marriage, I feel like it is right and necessary to remind men that it is not your job to make your wife subject to you. Rather, from Ephesians 5:25-33 we learn that your task is to love your wife so selflessly and sacrificially as to be a model of Christ’s love for his church, thereby making it more appealing and desirable for you wife to encourage your leadership. Her only obstacle should be her own sin nature, not yours too.

- Why is faithful family ministry important?

…for younger wives to learn what love looks like in their closest relationships, to be self-controlled and pure, to be be busy with homemaking and being kind, and to be submissive their husband’s leadership. “that the word of God may not be reviled”… or slandered… or blasphemed.

Although revile and slander ultimately have the same meaning, leaving this word blasphemeo as blaspheme perhaps helps us the most to see that it means defaming the glory and the character of God, in this case by calling God a liar.

The “word of God” here is everything that God has clearly said, which is centralized and crystalized in the gospel. (see vv. 11-14, especially the way 11-12 lead up to 14)

Why is faithful family ministry this important? Who we are becoming and how we live out our primary responsibilities should shout that’s God’s gospel is true and his grace is training us.

People do and will blaspheme God, but the point is that it must not be because our lives betray the truth of the gospel. We must not give people fuel for calling God a liar.

Now, as I promised last week…

What if our present God-given station in life isn’t directly addressed in this text? (What if I’m single?)

Last week we said that there are almost certainly other texts of Scripture that more directly address where you are in your life right now, plus we really shouldn’t be lazy in our efforts to apply principles from even texts such as these to our lives. Let me also offer some further suggestions for application from the tenor of this context:

-Here’s my advice to you, if you aren’t married with children. Seek out other single women ahead of you, even those now widowed, to give input on how you can pursue faithfulness to Christ in your present stage of singleness. There also isn’t any reason you can’t be mentored by godly married women, who were once single themselves, who should also honestly be able to think beyond the edges of their own sphere and still model and teach godly character and practices. Whatever you do, don’t just keep your questions and concerns to yourself because you are embarrassed or because you just assume others won’t understand. Let’s God’s truth working graciously through his people bless you in the way God intends that it should.

-Here’s my advice to all of us who are married with children in our interaction with those who are single: Listen well and be sensitive to the individual’s perspective and understanding of their singleness. Don’t presume to automatically know if they want to be married or even should be married. For the right person and context, the Bible elevates singleness as a potential a gift from God and as an opportunity for flexibility in ministry (which truthfully can be limited by marriage and children). - Plus, the reasons for their singleness might be quite sensitive and complicated. One may not want to be single and thus has an ongoing difficulty with it. Another may struggle with same-sex attraction and yet is seeking to learn how to not be rebellious toward what God says is for their good. - Listen well, be compassionate, and share Scriptural truth (because ultimately what is best for us is what God says is best for us).

-Finally, and this is for both groups, choose to form closer relationships and community with others who may or may not be in your phase and situation of life.

Concluding Implications:

No one is a second-class follower of Jesus. God has a good design for you to be a faithful follower of Jesus in your gender and age and life situation. The sooner we learn this, the more effective and joyful we will be.

One caveat about mentorship: It’s not a silver bullet. As much as we understand the value of this apprenticeship in life, we must also be prepared for some disappointment and hurt. Just as godly parenting does not guarantee the salvation of our children, neither does even genuine accountability prevent sin and betrayal.

- But again, the potential for failure and hurt because of sin must not stop us from doing what God shows us is best for the health of every individual, and for the health of families and churches and communities.

Let’s willingly and eagerly mentor and be mentored: to model, teach, correct, and train in a way that leads to practical application and accountability for what it looks like to be a follower of Jesus with our whole lives.

PRAY

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